I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
