ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Little spoons don't ask big questions
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
