is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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