We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
