Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You just made me feel so damn special
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
