The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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