lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
