JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
