the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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