were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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