Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
