Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
me + whiskey = a bad person
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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