You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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