Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
