I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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