HIV tests are more positive than that guy
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
