His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
