Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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