yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
