There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Can I color on your dick again?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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