If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
