i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
