i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
