One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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