I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Vodka?
Forever.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
