the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
