I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
