you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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