So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Randomize
