Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.

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(801): View more from Utah

I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.

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(719): View more from Colorado

New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.

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(410): View more from Maryland

You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip

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(813): View more from Florida

I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!

(303): View more from Colorado

Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.

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(716): View more from New York

You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.

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