no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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