Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize