from now on my penis is your penis
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
