Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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