Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Randomize
