My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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