Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
