the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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