I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
