it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
