How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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