If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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