I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
