Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
