Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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