I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
