How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Mom said you looked used
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
