Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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