i think i have herpe
just one?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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