Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
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