belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
