ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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