He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
