on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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