I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
