This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
