Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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